Whether you’ve been in a series of bad relationships, or you’re tired of dating and ready to find the right person, it’s not always easy. We all might seek out the fairy tale romance. But, unless you know what you really want, your relationships are going to come up short.
Tuning into what you really want is easier said than done. You might think you have a “type” or certain expectations for a relationship. But, when was the last time you seriously thought about it?
With that in mind, let’s dig a little deeper into some important relationship notes, so you can discover what you really want before getting into your next relationship.
Get to Know Yourself
At first, this might seem like a silly idea. After all, who knows you better than…you? However, think about the last time you sat down and practiced self-reflection. As people, our needs, wants, feelings, and desires change over time. Your experiences, maturity levels, and thoughts about the future all shape who you are.
If you’re not checking in with yourself to determine who you are and what you want, you’ll be unable to commit wholly to a relationship or let a potential partner know your needs. So take the time to self-reflect and “date” yourself before starting a relationship with someone new.
Plus, self-love will improve your relationships. Once you learn more about yourself, you can take better care of yourself. This practice will be an asset to you and your future relationship.
Determine Your Core Values
What are the things that are most important to you? What are your emotional needs? Understanding your core values is essential. Maybe your religion means a lot to you. Perhaps you’re more of a spiritual person or someone who needs a lot of independence.
Recognizing your core values will make it easier to set realistic expectations in a relationship. You’ll also be better equipped to set healthy boundaries, so you can determine what is or isn’t okay for you.
Be More Mindful
It’s easy to think about things you might have done differently in past relationships. But you need to consider what you want for the future. While there’s nothing wrong with reminiscing or wondering, make sure you’re taking time to focus on the present, too.
Mindfulness is a great way to accomplish that.
Mindfulness allows you to stay grounded and focus on the here and now. It will help you become better acquainted with your emotions and your intuition, so you can start to trust your gut more often as you navigate relationships.
Embrace Alone Time
Whether you’re currently in a relationship or not, it’s never a bad idea to take advantage of alone time. As you start to enjoy your own company, you’ll learn a lot about yourself, including your likes and dislikes, interests, and goals. Those are things you can carry with you into a healthy relationship.
Spending time alone also gives you the opportunity to practice self-care. Try fitting in a bit of exercise each day. Get a good night’s sleep. Cook your favorite meal. Doing these things solo will improve your self-esteem and sense of self-worth. You can hold your head high going into a relationship, knowing you’re content with who you are.
Communicate
When you do start to date or find that special someone, make sure to keep your communication as open as possible. You’ve spent time discovering yourself, so let your partner in on your needs, wants, likes, and dislikes.
Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship, and opening yourself up to your partner is a great way to ensure you’re on the same page. Here are 10 couples therapy exercises for communication to practice and set a solid foundation of healthy habits.
If you’re still struggling, don’t feel like you have to do it on your own. Feel free to set up an appointment with a therapist. Talking with a relational counselor or therapist is a great way to work through the static and tune into what you really want in a relationship.
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