Emotionally focused couples therapy (EFT) is designed to reduce conflict within a relationship so you and your partner can develop a more secure bond. While EFT can certainly help couples who might be going through a difficult patch in their relationship, you don’t have to wait for something to “go wrong” to take advantage of the process.
Couples choose to participate in EFT for a variety of reasons. Maybe you want to learn more about yourself or your partner, or perhaps you want to build a firmer foundation for your relationship.
If you’ve been on the fence about trying EFT, let’s go over a few reasons why couples choose it.
Top Reasons Couples Choose Emotionally Focused Therapy
1. Better Communication
Communication should always be the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. There are many reasons why couples might struggle with it. Maybe you and your partner have different communication styles. It could be that one of you isn’t as comfortable opening up and showing vulnerability.
Whatever the case, EFT can help you eliminate the negative communication style you might be stuck in. You’ll learn how to develop more positive interactions together, including how to express your needs in healthy ways and how to be an active listener.
2. Self-Awareness
EFT can help you become more in tune with your values and feelings. When you develop more self-awareness, you’ll be able to express your needs more openly. You’ll also be more sensitive to your partner’s needs and can even become more empathetic of their feelings.
If you struggle to comprehend your partner’s perspectives on certain ideas, EFT is a great way to deepen your understanding. It will help you let go of negativity toward their ideas, so you can start to view things in a different way and remember that you’re on the same team.
3. A Stronger Connection
One of the biggest reasons why couples choose EFT therapy is to strengthen their bond and connection.
EFT can help you deepen your emotional connection with your partner. Not only can it help you realize that your relationship is a safe and nurturing space, but it can boost your bond with each other. That carries over into a greater sense of intimacy, both emotionally and physically.
4. Better Conflict Resolution
Even the happiest and healthiest couples deal with conflicts and arguments. They simply don’t know how to argue the “right” way. EFT makes it easier to navigate these challenges with a positive perspective. You’ll learn how to work through conflicts together while supporting one another.
Not only does this process make it easier to gain something from conflicts, but it builds resiliency in your relationship. The next time a challenge occurs, you’ll be even better equipped to handle it together.
5. Identifying Negative Patterns
Maybe you’re struggling in your relationship but you don’t really know why. You could be so comfortable with the negative patterns you’ve been dealing with for a long time that you don’t even realize how much they’re harming your connection.
EFT can help you recognize those negative patterns (e.g. anxious-avoidant cycles or patterns of shutting down in relationships). It will also make it easier to start implementing positive changes to break the negative cycles. It’s not always easy to break those habits on your own, and this type of therapy reminds you that you don’t have to.
Is EFT right for you? Whether you struggle to share your feelings, you’re feeling distant from your partner, or you just want to strengthen your bond and better understand yourself and the needs of the person you love, EFT can help.
If you’re interested in learning more about this type of therapy or you’re ready to set up an appointment, don’t hesitate to contact me about EFT for more information.
Other Benefits of Emotionally Focused Therapy
While couples often seek therapy looking for enhanced understanding, communication, and connection, Emotionally Focused Therapy offers partners even more.
Leveraging the tenants of attachment theory, systemic thought, and nonjudgemental frameworks, EFT helps you understand yourself and your partner more completely- in the context of your relationship and where you both came from. No one is “right” or “wrong”; the goal is to understand one another and to face your problems together as a partnership.
Focusing on sustained-change and root-cause identification of stressful patterns, couples are equipped to face challenges together when they leave therapy because they have learned to see conflict in an entirely new way.
There’s a good reason EFT is the evidence-backed, gold standard treatment method in the field of relational therapy for marriage counseling.
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