Being in a relationship with an emotionally distant partner can be draining, frustrating, and hurtful at times. It’s important to remember that just because the person you love is emotionally distant doesn’t mean they don’t love you, in return.
Someone who is emotionally distant can’t relate to emotions as well as most people. That includes their feelings, as well as yours. Maybe they have a hard time saying how they feel or expressing themselves. Perhaps they don’t fully understand your needs or wants, leaving you dissatisfied and unfulfilled in your relationship.
They may display patterns of shutting down in a relationship or even shifting the blame to others to avoid dealing with emotions.
The most frustrating thing, however, is likely the communication gap. You might feel like you’re talking to a brick wall sometimes.
Thankfully, there are things you can do to close the communication gap with an emotionally distant partner and experience the closeness your relationship deserves.
Be Open and Honest
You can’t be vague when expressing your feelings, needs, and wants to your partner. It’s essential to be as direct and honest as possible. One of the most effective ways to do that is by using “I” statements.
For example, you could say “I feel like you don’t care what I say when I talk about the things I enjoy.”
By using “I” statements, your partner is less likely to feel like you’re attacking them. They likely care about your feelings even if they can’t always express that. So, by being open and direct using conflict resolution strategies, there’s less room for confusion and more of an opportunity for them to make things right.
Be an Active Listener
Communication is a two-way street. Even if it doesn’t always seem like your partner wants to open up, make sure you’re actively listening when they do. Create a safe environment for them to share what they’re feeling. Minimize distractions, maintain eye contact, and let them know that what they have to say matters.
When they start to recognize that they can communicate openly with you without judgment, they’re likely to do it more often.
Of course, that brings us to another point — patience. Don’t expect your partner to become an open book overnight. Change takes time, so continue to be an active listener and try not to get frustrated if they don’t share all of their feelings right away. Baby steps make a big difference.
Here are even more tips for how to be a better listener in a relationship.
Take Care of Yourself
There’s no question that being in a relationship with an emotionally distant partner can be draining. You can’t pour from an empty cup. So, make sure you’re taking care of yourself.
Get enough sleep. Stay physically active. Reduce stress with mindfulness and meditation. Keep a gratitude journal and remind yourself daily of the things in your life you’re lucky to have. By prioritizing your well-being, you’ll be able to put more energy into your relationship without feeling resentful or burnt out.
Get to the Source
There’s likely a reason why your partner is emotionally distant. It might stem from childhood or a past relationship with negative experiences. Whatever the case, getting to the root cause of their emotional distance can make it easier for both of you to move forward.
One of the best ways to do that is through therapy with your partner. Not only will therapy help your partner understand where their struggles stem from, but they will learn strategies that will help them open up. Together, you can start to feel more connected, and your partner can finally start to experience their emotions fully without worrying about potential consequences.
If you’re trying to close the communication gap with an emotionally distant partner, don’t feel like you have to do it on your own. Contact me today to set up an appointment.
Comments +