Meaningful relationships are one of the most important aspects of our experience through life. Relationships not only offer us support, care, and joy. But, they also challenge us to grow and become the best version of ourselves. Indeed, the most innovate, cutting-edge advances developed by man-kind happen through relationship and collaboration.
Yet, relationships are complicated. It’s incredibly common (I would even say inevitable!) for couples, family members, or even friends in close relationships to experience issues.
All of us as individual are complex on our own, with different cultures, beliefs, and experiences. These qualities impact the way we view the world and approach emotions, bonding, and stress. As such, when we combine all of ourselves with another to form a relationship, challenges can form. And, relationship issues usually impact our mental health in serious ways.
Luckily, there are a myriad of methods of therapy to help relationship issues and strengthen bonds over time. However, there is no one-size-fits all approach for various issues or diverse types of people.
As a relationally-trained therapist, I’m going to share the different types of relationship therapy you may encounter. Plus, I’ll share what you should know about each type. For more individualized support, use the button below to inquire about our practice’s relational therapy services.
What Are The Different Types Of Relationship Therapy?
Here are some common types of couples therapy offered by marriage and family therapists. Plus, what you can expect in the different types of relationship therapy.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is a modern model of therapy that began development in the 1980s. EFCT, emotionally focused couples therapy, is the most evidence-supported method of couples therapy or marriage counseling. The model focuses improving emotional connection with ourselves and with our partners. This approach to therapy is based on the idea that humans are meant to connect and bond with one another. Emotions are central to effective communication to support those bonds.
An emotion focused therapy EFT couples therapist will encourage couples to identify patterns in their communication and access and share their emotions. This helps both partners to share theirs own needs and to know how to support the other. You can expect therapy sessions to be structured yet flexible, guiding both partners to identify and share their own experience.
The focus of this therapy is understanding the function of behaviors by connecting them to your cognitive and emotional systems. By understanding the contributing factors to patterns that are not working, couples identify the root cause of their challenges. They learn to manage conflict and bond more deeply in a sustainable way.
To learn more about Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, read Sue Johnson’s Hold Me Tight. The book provides information about the principles behind the model as well as exercises to work through with your partner.
Emotionally Focused Family Therapy
Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) is based on the same principles of the Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy model. However, EFFT focuses specifically on healing bonds and relationships between family members. EFFT focuses on practicing communication and responsiveness in order to strengthen bonds between family members.
The overall goal of the model is to repair past pain and to establish healthy communication between family members. This work is essential for individual growth of its members. Plus, the work helps to strengthen meaningful bonds across generations.
Gottman Method
The Gottman Institute has performed observational research about relationships since the 1970s. The research was developed by observing patterns in both happy and unhappy relationships. This information has formulated a model of therapy. The model focuses on teaching couples how to replicate the patterns in happy relationships, while warning them of patterns that appear in unhappy couples.
A Gottman Method therapist takes the role of a coach. They teach the communication skills and note when couples are using ineffective methods. The focus is on changing behaviors in the relationship. Often, Gottman therapy begins with an assessment to gauge your current relationship strengths and weaknesses. Then, the couples therapist will review with you in order to guide your counseling plan and goals.
For more information on the method, I recommend The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. The book provides a framework of the model and some negative behaviors to avoid.
Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy
Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy blends behavioral methods with cognitive behavioral therapy CBT frameworks. This type of couples counseling focuses on changing behaviors and improving communication and problem-solving skills.
An IBCT therapist will teach a couple speaker and listener skills to create more effective conversations. The will also learn problem solving skills like problem identification, solution brainstorming, negotiation, and compromise. Similarly, this counseling method looks to identify and increase positive behaviors, while decreasing negative behaviors.
Narrative Therapy
Narrative Therapy is a postmodern counseling method that focuses on language and the way that clients think about their problems. A primary narrative technique is externalization. Rather than thinking of each other as the problem to focus on in therapy, couples learn to externalize. For example, instead of pointing fingers at one another, couples learn to view their shared dynamic as the problem.
(Note: other methods of therapy, including EFCT, use this narrative technique!)
Additionally, narrative therapy helps couples to rewrite their story. They create shared meaning about both the challenges and strengths within their relationship. By rewriting together, couples break from previously held destructive views of one another to create more positive stories.
Solution Focused Therapy
Solution focused therapy removes talk of the problem from therapy. Instead of focusing on the problem, the therapist will guide the couple to identify their goals and solutions. Then, the therapist will challenge the couple to identify when they have been in situations where solutions have been present. From there, they will help the couple consider how they can replicate these conditions to create more of what they want.
Solution Focused Therapy can be helpful in the short term for individual issues. However, it often ignores the complexities of long-term relationships which result in lower sustainability in couples counseling.
Does Relationship Therapy Work?
Several types of relationship therapy are supported by evidence and research, tracking the sustainability of therapeutic gains over time. The benefits of couples therapy tend to include:
- Greater ability to resolve conflicts
- Increased communication skills
- Healing of relationship wounds
- More secure bonding, closeness, and connection
Of course, not every relationship therapy will help couples in the same way. Speaking with a therapist about your specific goals to choose the right type for you can ease concerns when starting.
Whichever model you choose, make sure that the provider is a registered or licensed marriage and family therapist. This will ensure they have been trained to work with couples and systems in addition to general counseling.
As a relationship therapist, I also hear from clients who are afraid to ask their partner about starting therapy together. In this post, how to ask your partner to go to couples therapy, we cover some tips in approaching this conversation. These tips will help get the therapy process started on the right foot. We also covered why therapy is worth it in this post. We also shared couples therapy exercises for communication.
Have you attended relationship therapy? How did it go? What went well, and what didn’t? Would anything have been helpful to know going in? I’d love to hear your experience in the comments below!
For information about emotionally focused couples therapy, contact our practice below.
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