You might feel like you’re drowning in responsibilities, emotions, or decisions. If you’re overwhelmed right now, I want you to know: you’re not alone, you’re not broken, and there is nothing wrong with you.
For all of us, especially in the modern world, there are moments when everything can add up, weigh heavily, and feel impossible to carry.
In fact, overwhelm isn’t a personal failure. It’s your body’s way of waving a flag and saying, “Slow down. Something needs attention. You’re missing something.” It’s an invitation to soften, to pause, and to return to yourself and reset.
So, let’s explore what this signal really means and how you can respond.
What Is Overwhelm?
From a therapeutic perspective, overwhelm is more than simply operating on a full schedule: it’s a sign that your emotional system has reached capacity.
In Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), we recognize that overwhelm often surfaces when your basic emotional needs (e.g., things like connection or safety) go unmet. When that happens, your nervous system goes into overdrive. You might shut down, snap at loved ones, or cry unexpectedly. These aren’t flaws; they’re signs that your emotional system needs attention.
Meanwhile, Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy teaches that overwhelm often stems from too many internal “parts” trying to lead your system at once. I know that might sound weird, but the model teaches us that we all have parts that try to take care of our overall Self. For example, your planner or fixer part might push through, your inner critic might demand more, and your younger, vulnerable part might simply want rest. Without a calm, grounded Self to lead, your system spirals in overwhelm.
Similarly, in EMDR therapy, we see that past experiences can flood the present moment. Your nervous system doesn’t always distinguish between now and then, so overwhelm might also mean an old memory or event is still unprocessed and needs your attention to reach full resolution.
Overall, overwhelm is your system’s way of saying, “This is too much.” There is something misaligned or unprocessed that requires attention.
Rather than ignore these signals or try to numb and suppress the emotions away, you can learn how to navigate overwhelm and to respond with care.
How To Navigate Overwhelm
Let’s talk about some practical tools for how to navigate overwhelm. Remember, overwhelm is not a weakness or flaw; it’s a signal to be responded to.
Notice Which Part of You Is Overwhelmed
Start by noticing which part of you feels overwhelmed. Is it your perfectionist part, your fixer, or your inner child who feels unworthy? IFS teaches that simply identifying a part allows it to feel seen, calm down, and stop overwhelming you with emotional signals. This book helps to map out your parts and discover the ways they are trying to help you, even when it feels like they are doing just the opposite.
Why it helps: Once you recognize the part that’s activated, you no longer feel consumed by it. Instead, you begin relating to it, which restores a sense of control and grounding.
Slow the Body Down First
Before you can think clearly, your nervous system needs to calm down. Use emotional grounding tools like long exhales, placing both feet on the floor, or holding something cold. These strategies, often used in EMDR resourcing, can settle your system quickly. This book has lots of techniques and skills to build somatic presence and regulation.
Why it helps: You can’t process emotions or make decisions when your body believes it’s in danger. Regulation always comes before cognitive reflection.
Determine What Matters
Overwhelm tricks you into thinking everything is urgent. But EFT teaches us that when you look underneath your reactions, there’s usually one unmet need standing out. Explore whether you need rest, reassurance, or time to cry and process your emotions.
Why it helps: Identifying the core need gives you direction and clarity, which instantly reduces the confusion and mental chaos.
Self Validate
Instead of criticizing yourself for struggling, meet yourself with empathy. Tell yourself, “of course I’m feeling overwhelmed. Anyone would be overwhelmed in my position.” This language acknowledges your pain without adding shame.
Why it helps: Self-compassion activates your calming system. It helps you stay with the emotion without spiraling into judgment or self-doubt, which always keeps us stuck.
Let Go of the Fixer for a Moment
Many of us cope with overwhelm by trying to do more and eliminate the emotional discomfort. But what if you paused for a moment? Instead of fixing or planning, just let yourself cry, journal, or rest. Healing and getting through tough emotions often happens through experiencing emotion, not analyzing it.
Why it helps: Pausing invites emotional presence, which is often more healing than productivity.
Come Back to Relationship
Connection regulates. It really is that simple. Our emotions are wired for responsiveness. If you’re overwhelmed, that might mean your system is asking for someone to witness you. Text a friend, call a therapist, or simply say, “I’m struggling right now. I’m feeling alone in this.” This book has more tips on how to communicate vulnerable emotions.
Why it helps: Feeling seen soothes your nervous system and reinforces that you don’t have to carry everything alone.
Attend Therapy
Meeting with a therapist offers a safe space to explore what’s driving your overwhelm and begin to untangle it. Therapy helps you identify patterns, make sense of your emotional responses, and learn how to respond to yourself with more care through the support of a trusted professional.
Whether you explore parts of you with IFS, your relationship cycle with EFT, or past experiences with EMDR, the right support can create space for healing and forward movement.
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