Depression can feel like heaviness you can’t shake. You might lose motivation. You finding yourself pulling away from others. Everything feels dull, bleak, and too overwhelming.
Traditional therapy models like cognitive behavior therapy focus on trying to change your thoughts in order to change your emotions. While this approach works for some people, for others it leaves them feeling more stuck and unable to change their thoughts, wondering what is wrong with them.
Internal Family Systems, or IFS therapy for depression, offers a fresh approach. It helps you to truly explore and understand the emotions happening inside so that you can make sense of depression and move through it.
What Is IFS Therapy?
Internal Family Systems Theory
IFS sees the mind as made of parts. Rather than being one way all of the time, we have parts that carry different emotions and thoughts. The Self is a process that is always evolving rather than a constant state of being. As such, in IFS Therapy for depression, the experience of depression is only part, not all, of who you are, and it is not unfixable.
For example, you ay have some parts that feel hopeless and lack motivation to do anything- even things that once brought you excitement and joy. Yet, you have other parts that say you should “try harder” and become critical to the parts of you that are having a hard time. There may even be parts that feel numb, like they’ve given up and that nothing matters.
These parts aren’t bad or broken. There are No Bad Parts, only parts that learned at some point in your life that they had to protect you by getting your attention with intense emotion.
IFS Therapy and Depression
While they may feel unpleasant to experience, they developed to help you cope with pain, rejection, or overwhelm. Even if they shut you down and it’s hard to understand why, they’re trying to protect you.
For example, maybe when you were a child, you often came home excited to share something with a caregiver. However, you were met with indifference or criticism (e.g., “You think that’s a good grade? What happened to the other 8 points?“, or “Not now, Mommy’s too busy. Go play by yourself”). These moments can feel like rejection in the body of the child. Over time, a part of you may have learned it was safer to stop expressing joy or needs altogether than to face the possibility of rejection or shaming.
As an adult, this part might still hold that belief. It may show up as numbness, low energy, or a sense of “what’s the point?”. This is not because you’re lazy or unmotivated, but because a part of you is trying to protect you from the pain of being dismissed again, even if you don’t realize that’s what’s happening.
IFS Therapy for depression invites you to turn toward those parts with curiosity to uncover their function. With the guidance of an IFS therapist, you can learn to transform those parts so that you can redirect the energy in ways that are more aligned with your current situation.
If you are interested in working with a therapist to get to know your own parts, reach out to our practice to inquire about availability.
IFS Therapy For Depression
Depression often includes parts that have shut down to keep you from feeling worse (e.g., rejected, shamed, blamed, etc.). You might feel frozen or flat because some part of you believes it’s safer that way.
Instead of forcing yourself to “snap out of it,” IFS therapy helps you listen and discern what could really be happening:
- What is the withdrawn part afraid of?
- What pain is the hopeless part carrying?
- What would happen if you were engaged and energetic? Are there any risks the depressed part is afraid of?
As part of this work, you begin to separate from those parts and realize they are only a part of your experience. You might say, “A part of me feels really down,” instead of “I’m broken and useless.” That subtle shift in perspective allows you to not be fully consumed by the depression that overwhelms your body.
With time, those depressed parts can tell their story and you can piece together the unconscious scripts that can wreak havoc in your present life. The parts start to trust that they don’t have to carry so much and that they can take risks, so they give you a break from the feelings of depression.
Why This Approach Matters
Depression often makes people feel stuck and alone– that’s its nature. However, IFS Therapy for depression helps you build internal connection and clarity.
It shows you that no part of you is the enemy and that you do not need to fight with yourself or your depressed parts. Instead of staying stuck in self-blame or shutdown, you learn to take risks of being expressive or vulnerable when appropriate.
IFS offers a gentle, powerful way forward. If you’re feeling weighed down by depression, IFS can help you reconnect with yourself and all of your parts.
Join our Mailing List
Periodic updates on mental health + relationships, delivered to your inbox ↓
Comments +